データ、シャーロックホームズになる
シャーロックホームズ扮するデータはあまりにも知り過ぎていて、つまり、事件が起きる
前に答えを知っているわけです。これでは面白いはずがありません。
登場人物
| Data: | アンドロイド（科学主任で第二副長） |
| Geordi La Forge: | 技術チーフ（「機関部長」とも。恋多き青年です^^;） |
| Da: | Computer, select at random a mystery by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in which I will play Sherlock Holmes and Lieutenant LaForge will be Dr. John Watson. |
| Co: | Program complete. You may enter. |
| Ge: | Excellent. Look at all the detail. So you say everything in here has some significance? |
| Da: | Holmes collected nothing -- neither trinkets nor thoughts -- which was not specifically significant to him. |
| Ge: | This? |
| Da: | The emerald tie pin, presented to Holmes by Queen Victoria after he solved the theft of the Bruce-Partington plans. A copy of Whitaker's almanack which provided Holmes with the key to the secret code in "the valley of fear." The snuff box of Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein. |
| Ge: | All right, Data. You solve the cases and get all the gifts. What do I do? |
| Da: | Primarily as Dr. Watson, you will keep a written record of everything I say and do. |
| Ge: | Hm? |
| Da: | For later publication. And the famous Holmes violin. He purchased this in a pawn shop in Tottenham court road for 55 schillings, which he considered to be a very good investment. |
| Ge: | In the hands of some, the violin is a wondrous thing, equally capable of stirring the soul to the hights of bliss as to the depths of despair. But... Data, that... that's incredible. How can you play it like that? |
| Da: | Merely throwing myself into the part, Watson. |
| Ge: | Ahem. But, in the hands of my friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, the violin ceases to be a musical instrument at all and becomes... |
| Da: | Watson, we are about to have guests. |
| Ge: | How could you possibly... |
| Da: | Be a good fellow and answer that. Let's not keep the Inspector waiting. |
| Ge: | Inspector who? |
| Da: | Lestrade, of course. |
| Le: | Holmes, are you there, man? Thank the almighty you're available. I'm in a deuce of a dilemma. |
| Da: | And may I say your perturbation becomes you, Inspector Lestrade, whilst simultaneously affording me the opportunity to yet again serve Queen and Country. |
| Ge: | Data, Holmes really talked like that? |
| Da: | Absolutely. |
| Le: | We need your help, Holmes. You see, this gentleman here, the emissary of a foreign government, has been the victim of most accidentally wicked crime. |
| Ge: | Damn. Haven't they invented the electric light by now? |
| Le: | What, dear fellow? |
| Da: | Tch-tch. Watson. Pray continue, Inspector. |
| Le: | Put the matter simply, Holmes. This man was accosted by Gypsies intent on depriving his most valuable possessions. And in a process of picking his pockets clean they also happend to bag a photograph this man was carrying. Great scott, the photograph. |
| Da: | I believe you will find, Inspector, this emissary here works not for but against the King Bohemia. And that photograph of the king and his mistress is to be used for blackmail. Further, upon deeper reflection, you will deduce, as did I... |
| Ge: | Computer, freeze program. Exit. |
| Da: | Geordi. Where are you going, Geordi? |
| Ge: | I'm done. |
| Da: | But... But... Geordi. I was about to review the fact that the sir is in fact... |