Chapter 301 "Houseboat" Original Air Date 11/11/01

Our vacations have never been the most elaborate, but this year we at least had some outside hope for something different. I guess sharing a houseboat with the Kenarbans fits into that category. Mom brought us all to the sporting goods store for new swimming suits, a rare treat. I couldn't believe what happened next though. Dad was trying on skimpy suits and accidentally mistook some other woman for Mom. He slapped her on the ass and then got locked out of his dressing room. I felt really bad because I probably could've helped him out if it wasn't for this girl I was talking to…what? She was hot!

Of course Mom yelled at me because Dad almost got arrested. Geez, like I didn't feel bad enough already. And to top it off, Dad wasn't talking to me at all. Yeah, this vacation was looking better and better every minute.

When we got to the boat, Dewey totally freaked out because there wasn't any TV and Dad still wasn't talking to me. It turned out that him not talking was just a hoax because he was waiting to surprise me with a new fishing rod. He said the two of us would go out on the lake together. Yep, back in the saddle - no sweat. I mean, it's bad enough having one parent against you, and I couldn't bare Dad not talking to me. So everything was fine, great, wonderful, except for one small problem. Across the lake there was an all-girls cheerleaders camp that had been deprived of male contact for weeks. They invited Stevie, Reese and I to come out on the lake with them, but I had to go fishing with Dad. It wasn't so bad. Wait, what am I saying? It was horrible! I've never been so bored in my whole life. And to make matters worse, Stevie and Reese went to the cheerleaders camp and did who-knows-what with who-knows-who…HOT CHEERLEADERS… that's who!

The next morning, Dad woke me before dawn and made me sit in that boat…sit in that boat…sit in that boat. You get the point. We did catch a fish however, only I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I couldn't resist the urge any longer. Just as Dad was putting the fish in the boat, I totally lost it. I gunned the motor and Dad flipped out of the boat. What can I say, I wanted to be near those cheerleaders.

So that was our trip. Sure we got three weeks of slave labor, but for some reason, I couldn't stop smiling. Dad has decided to move on to Dewey and Mom, well evidently Francis is moving to Alaska, so she has a little bit on her mind at the moment.